I decided to try a new tactic to get closer with my family.. Just ignore it when they ignore me and keep being friendly. It was mostly just one of my brothers who would flat out ignore me and then be a jerk whenever i talked to him. So the other day, I was just nice to him. I didn't straight up talk to him, but I was friendly.. If that makes any sense. I think it might have worked. Although I don't know for sure because he goes to work with my dad during the week, so i don't see him.

And I spent like $10 on itunes downloading thse christmas songs sung by disney cartoons... and then i bought some exciting games for my ipod. a lot of buying going on... :p

i'm going to one of those women doctors today.. i don't know if i'm scared or not. :p

tomorrow's christmas eve! i'm volunteering at the hospital that day. it should be exciting. :D

i'm going to FSU next year..for sure. i'm in the honors program there, and yesterday i found out that i have an $8,000 scholarship there. It should work out.

and finally, i broke my codes. i had chocolate. D:  i don't even know why i did.. it was a bad idea. most people don't understand why i don't eat junk food. they automatically assume that it's because i want to watch my weight or something, and then the whole 'you're too skinny to be worrying about your weight' thing comes in. I just do it because I want to be healthy. I don't see anything wrong with that. and plus, i always feel sick when i have chocolate. i hate when people jump to conclusions like that. :/

and this brings me to something else. my height is always brought up! i'm only 5 freaking 9 (almost 10). it's not like i'm ashamed of my height or something, but people are always saying how abnormal it is..blahblah. like i don't know. it's always like 'wow, you're tall' or 'why are you so tall?'  maybe this means that i'm insecure about it. idk. i just hate it.

this kind of turned into a list of just random stuff in my mind with no point really..

so i started running/jogging everyday with my brother. we go about half a mile everyday for now.. (and now, as i'm typing this, i've realized that i forgot to go today..). it's pretty cool..we're trying to get fit. :D

school is just..there. not much to add.

i'm reading the kite runner, the vampire diaries, and kissed by an angel. and i've still been watching keith countless times (it's a movie, in case you don't know). :D

recently, i just haven't had the patience to actually sit down for long lengths of time and do stuff on the computer. but have no fear, i'm actually saving up to buy an ipod touch so i can be portable. :p

well i now have to return to my studies of the spanish language. :D

yeah, i am. 

because i'd want someone to do the same thing for me. and plus, why let valuable organs and such rot when they could save lives?

   

I just answered this Featured Question; you can answer it too!

To be honest, I have spent the past week attempting to find the meaning of life. I've basically gotten nowhere. I was way out somewhere, and I have no idea how I got back.

I was and still am struggling to realize why we all were put on this earth if we will all just be taken away later. Why do people try? Don't get me wrong, I live..but only because I have no choice. Then I starting thinking about why people kill themselves..not that I was contemplating it or anything, but I decided that dying now would suck majorly because then I still wouldn't know the meaning of life.

I look around at all of these people driving nice cars or shopping for new clothes or investing in something or following their dreams. And I don't get why they do that. Why they try. Why do we try? Once we die, it's like we never did those things. So what's the freaking point?

I'm lost.

yeah, i know i said i was going to be schoolworking for the rest of summer...but i decided against it...boredom sucks, and leads me to do really stupid things. so yeah, accidently read a really..inappropriate book..well i guess i could have stopped when it started getting..weird..but it was technically this really awesome suspense book and i just had to know what happened.

well, right now i'm attempting to find a world event to right an essay on in spanish..and it's not going well. oh yeah, got a raging sunburn on my face, so that kind of sucks..and pretty much ruined the weekend.

and i just had to pick the worst topic ever for my extended essay. at this point, i pretty much want to deck Wuthering Heights..

on the bright side, the weather has been rainy lately. :D